By: Faith-Family-Freedom
Hello there!
In this blog I will be exploring the intricacies of a mother's relationship with adult sons and how much different this dynamic is from the mother/young son relationship. This subject is very near and dear to my heart and dear to the hearts of many Christian mothers' hearts. Our relationships with our adult sons are special relationships that are very different from our other relationships. As moms, we often have a special bond with our sons that, hopefully and prayerfully, will last a lifetime. However, as our sons grow into adulthood, our relationships with them can change and evolve. Today, I will explore some of the joys and challenges of this relationship from a Christian perspective.
To begin with, it's important to recognize that the bond between a mother and son is unique. A mother is often the first person to hold her son. In my case, it was for only the shortest second. My son was delivered with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice. When he came through the birth canal, the cord tightened and cut off his air supply. When he was delivered, he was in respiratory distress. He wasn't breathing and was a deep blue-purple color. The OBGYN tried to jump start his breathing momentarily, but it was unsuccessful, so he quickly placed my son on my chest not even long enough for me to see him clearly or give him his first kiss. He was then urgently rushed to the NICU and placed on oxygen, where he remained until the next day. This wasn't our only scare. At 12 days old, he quit attempting to nurse at all, and we were unable to rouse him for a 24 hour span of time. We took him to the local emergency room where he was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis, a condition which causes the pyloric sphincter, located at the exit of the stomach and entrance into the intestine, to close off entirely, causing his body to literally starve itself almost to death. He dropped from a robust 9lb, 4oz baby at birth down to 6 lbs by Day 12 of life. He was transferred to our Children's Hospital where we spent a month due to surgery and subsequent infection. Very terrifying times for this first time momma!
From that point forward, I watched him grow from that completely helpless newborn who almost didn't survive the first three curve balls thrown into his path, into a wonderful older brother who always took the worst in order to give the younger sisters the best, then into a loving, loyal, capable adult. This bond is so incredibly strong, it's almost unfathomable. However, as our sons grow and become adults, our roles as a mothers change. We can no longer protect them from every challenge they will face in life, and we must learn to let go and allow them to make their own decisions, and even their own mistakes.
As Christian mothers, we have a unique perspective on this relationship. We believe that our sons are gifts from God, and it is our responsibility to raise them in the ways of the of the Lord. This means that we must teach them to love God and follow His commandments. We must also teach them to love and respect others, to be kind and compassionate, and to be responsible and selfless.
As our sons grow into adulthood, we may find that they begin to question their faith or beliefs, or test the spreading of their wings/freedoms by making decisions that may even hurt us as Christian parents. This can be a difficult time for both moms and sons, as we may feel like we have failed in our role as Christian parents. However, it is important to remember that our sons are individuals, and they must make their own choices in life. We obviously will continue to kneel on our knees beside our beds and pray for them, and offer guidance and support. Ultimately however, the decision to live their lives like Christ is their own. They must grow into their own faith, not simply continuing to rely on the faith of their own parents.
One of the greatest challenges that many Christian mothers face in their relationship with their adult sons is finding a balance between being supportive and being overbearing. It can be tempting to want to control every aspect of our sons' lives, but this is not healthy or productive. Instead, we need to learn to trust that God has a special plan for our sons. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." We need to place this level of trust in God and His plan for our sons, and then offer them our love and support as they navigate the ups and downs of adult life.
Another important aspect of the mother-adult son relationship is communication. As our sons become adults, they may not always want to openly communicate. They may not want to share every aspect of their lives with us. This can be difficult for many moms who are accustomed to being intimately involved in our sons' lives. However, it's important to respect our sons' boundaries and privacy, thereby allowing them to have their own space. At the same time, we should be open and honest with our sons about our own feelings and concerns. Communication is key to maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with our grown sons.
Finally, it's important to remember that our relationships with our sons are a reflection of our relationship with God. As Christian mothers, we need to strive to model Christ's love and grace in our interactions with our sons. We should offer forgiveness and grace when they make mistakes, and, hopefully and prayerfully, show them unconditional love and support, just as our Father does with us. The relationship between a mother and son is such a special, unique, lifelong relationship. As Christian moms, we have a unique perspective on this relationship, and it is very important that we recognize the challenges and joys that come with it. By trusting in God's plans for our sons, we can "let go and let God" and possibly even enjoy more and worry less over our favorite boys!
Thank you for taking the time to take a look at my thoughts related to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship as a mom with an adult son. May God go with you and bless you along your own journey.
June 7, 2023
Comments