Steps to Surviving the Empty Nest
By: Faith-Family-Freedom
Hello there!
Welcome to my first blog! It will be addressing the complicated and complex issues related to, not just surviving, but thriving through the empty nest years. In this blog, I will be exploring how to navigate this new season of life with confidence and grace. With faith and guidance, these years can be an incredibly full experience. Many of us as parents face this eventuality as our children grow up, spread their wings, and take flight. This is what we want, right? So then I ask rhetorically, why is this so hard then? For this mom, it was the most traumatic experience for which I had encountered. From our perspective as moms, it is a very difficult, if not harrowing even, transition. There are ways that I have found to cope with the change and even… (I know! I haven’t even convinced myself yet.) FIND JOY IN THIS NEW JOURNEY!
As moms, we need to first acknowledge the range of emotions we’re feeling. It’s okay to require time to allow ourselves to process through these ranges of emotions, not unlike the familiar stages of grieving with situations such as the loss of a loved one, divorce, moving, etc. Natural responses to our grief can vary but could include sadness, loneliness, a sense of loss, and others.
As Christians, we do have some spiritual coping strategies for handling this grief in a healthy, productive manner. Our relationship with God should be our primary source of comfort. From a Christian standpoint, our purpose doesn’t disappear when our kids do. We have our faith to turn to for comfort, guidance, and for navigation of these new emotions and experiences. First and foremost we can focus on our relationship with God. Prayer, meditation, and reflection will assist in our efforts to grow closer to God and deepen our faith, especially related to remembering our vast blessings and taking comfort in them. We also need to remember that our identity isn’t based solely on being a parent, but being a child. a beloved child of our most Holy Father!
We as empty nesting moms also need to stay connected to our children, even if they aren’t close in proximity or very busy settling into their own new life situations. Be sure to schedule regular calls, video chats, or even texting when limited by busyness in order to catch up and stay involved in our adult children’s lives. The hard aspect to all of these life changes is realizing and respecting that they are adults, giving them space to grow, even if it means letting them make mistakes that have to deal with consequences which will over time allow them to learn lessons, even if sometimes very painfully. The easier part is making clear to them that we are always there and always available to them to offer support or guidance if they request it or need us.
Another beneficial aspect of empty nesting is exuberantly and with gusto taking on hobbies or interest, things that may have fascinated us in the past, but we never had the chance to pursue due to the busyness of getting our little birds grown to be ready to take flight and leave our nest when the time is right. For instance, I would have never picked up blogging/podcasts had I not been seeking an outlet for my interest once my nest was empty. I have also considered taking a stained glass class, and that isn’t even a joke. My husband decided to pursue his PhD and learned a second language, and yes, he absolutely IS an overachiever. 🙂 Another beneficial use of time is volunteering. It is a great way to meet new people while also providing meaningful service in your church, community, or beyond. Use this phase of your life to rediscover yourself and pursue your passions! Always be looking for ways to grow!
Through this process, another aspect to keep in mind is to remember that you aren’t alone. Spend more time investing in others. Lean on others for support at times when feeling dark or lonely. Extended family, church friends, work friends, etc. provide the absolute best of encouragement and companionship. These are also some of the areas where I was failing myself. I found myself wallowing on self-pity and began letting theses relationship suffer do to my feelings of loneliness and isolation. And lastly, but most importantly, don’t forget about your spouse! You’re in this together, chances are if you are having these lonely, isolated feelings, your spouse is as well. Increase communication of your feelings and experiences, you’re never in reality actually going it alone.
As I close out this blog, remember that an empty house does not have to be a lonely house. Create daily routines, hygge moments, such as relaxation, meditation, prayer, scripture reading, etc., and don’t forget to make time to exercise and preparation of healthy meals, all of which lead to a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.
In summary, through these empty nesting years, stay focused on God, stay connected to your kiddos, explore new interests for personal growth, lean on others especially your spouse for communication, lean into them for wisdom and guidance, and take care of yourself, even allow some self-spoiling! Look at this new phase of life as an opportunity for growth, a chance to grow and rediscover that joy you felt in the past when your quiver was full, but in new ways with new passions and callings in this rich new season of life. It can be a beautiful, fulfilling, and exciting new journey, and the absolute best part of these years is when that first grand baby appears! 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to take a look at my method for coping with the empty nest years! May God go with you and bless you along your own journey!
April 28, 2023
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